You gotta remember 今も 夢のかけらを手に~
現実と理想の狭間揺らいだ 情熱の炎も消えかかった
Heh. Lyrics from a song I was listening to while driving back to the OC from LA. Dreams indeed. Its so hard to hold onto them these days. To focus on something and just be crazy about it ... where did that passion go? A flicker still remains ... barely.
Of course it goes on to say ...
咲かそう 咲かそう 咲かそう 情熱の花を咲かそう
探そう 探そう 探そう 夢のかけらを探そう
Its such an upbeat optomistic song. It really makes me want to believe in innocence, courage, and growing childhood passions haha. Finding pieces of your dreams ... scattered about wherever you go
Recently I've been doing some introspective thinking since I have a little free time this week with school being canceled because of the fires and all. I'm sort of a private person. I have my passions and whatnot but share it with only a small circle of people. Earlier this week someone commented that he wanted to old Kevin back and not the "depressed and ... ..." me haha. More like deflated than depressed lol. More like setting myself up, not for failure, but just accepting that one of the things on my mind probably isn't going to go the way I hope it to lol
Anyways, he knows that i'm crazy about golf. Others know that I love snowboarding. I suck at both but are crazy about both nevertheless. I'd play golf every day of the year and snowboard every weekend of the year if I could (although I sort of did do that during my year off haha ... went snowboarding a couple times a week at times). I like tennis but have no one to hit with :( I've come to realize that my passion for these hobbies stem from sharing these experiences with other people. Thats what makes it so fun and memorable.
Passion for music. Music is beautiful. I wish I could learn every instrument and sing perfectly but I don't have the crazy talent or abundance of time to do that sort of thing. All I can do is try to regain the skills I used to have from playing violin during whatever spare time I have. Language is also like music to my ears. One day I want to truely learn Mandarin, Japanese, Italian, and French fluently but some people tell me it'll be impossible when I get older ... and that I'm already too old haha. It doesn't hurt to try does it? :)
What about my passion for learning? what ever happened to that. I don't really know ... I still like learning but the effort I put into studying is so half-assed that its disappointing. Its not that I don't like the sciency material but more like ... I'm tired of this "school/academic" phase and just want to move onto the next phase of my life. Work towards financial independence, settle down in a life near civilization (anywhere without good dim sum is now labeled as the boonies in my eyes after spending over a year in san diego... mainly want sha zhan fen), and good ol' fashioned love (haha does that even exist anymore?)
Ahhhh that brings us to the passion for romance. Where be this mystery element. Well seeing how I have no gf or anything I'll just leave this blank. My secret for now! heehee :P
Anyhow ... The song really brings back memories of times when I was passionate about everything haha. Ahh what a naive little boy i was. good times fun times. The memories sorta make me want to go to disneyland for fun again but AH! ... no gf and i'd rather not be the creepy old guy there lol. I'll just have to stick to golf, snowboarding, and soon-to-be mountain biking for now~
Goals for end of 2007. Shoot under 85. 360 jump without landing on my ass. and get around to actually buying a decent bike. Shooting under 85 is going to be especially hard since my long iron game is so inconsistent. My putting could use some work too. Maybe it's time to start getting some lessons.
Anyways thats enough ranting for now. Irvine's so boring ... look how long my post was lol.
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